The road is dark and weary.. The light forever dimming..

They say to stay positive, not to think negative.. But it’s impossible.. How can I stay positive after everything you’ve done? And with everything you continue to do?

I’ve written an open letter to you through my blog, but in reality I want to talk to you in person.

I have so many questions.. Why me? Why did you hurt me? Do you remember what you did? Why are you continuing to make my life hell? Do you still love me? Do you even acknowledge what you did? Are you ok?

There was a time in my life where you were my everything. I loved you more than anything. I did everything I could to love and protect you.

You said you loved me too, and that you still do. But is that true? Or another one of your lies?

It took for things to go too far for me to eventually see our relationship for what it was. Toxic, abusive and doomed.

But I still cared then and I still do now. I still love you, even after what you did. You are the father to my child but also the love of my life.

I hate myself for loving you. I really do. I wish I could switch off my feelings. But I can’t.

It feels like an injustice- the fact that you won’t admit what you did. It kills me.

I guess it’s closure I’m looking for.. But I know that’s something I won’t get.

I just want to talk to you and ask you questions.

In some ways I do miss what we had- the good times and the good memories.

I’m so confused. Torn between love and hate.. And feeling like it will never end…