It’s no secret that my moods can become very erratic and unstable very quickly, but that’s something I’ve been working on.
I’ve been building myself up slowly and I am beginning to pave a new path in my life.
But there are still a few elephants in the room and weights on my shoulders.
My physical health and chronic illnesses have been on a steady decline for quite a while- I have so many hospital appointments with different specialists and I’m finding it very overwhelming. Not to mention the expenses of travelling and up to 5 hour round trips for just one appointment.
I also had my PIP assessment at the end of last week too to assess my disability needs. The assessment lasted 2.5 hours and by the end of it I was mentally and physically exhausted.
My PTSD, depression and anxiety have been worse than normal too; most likely caused by my physical health.
I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I do I end up waking up every hour (or more) sweating and panicking trying to forget the awful nightmares.
Money isn’t great and this time of year is especially expensive: car repairs, MOT, road tax, birthdays.. Everything seems to need paid in January and February!
The one thing that’s really bothering me though is how lonely I am. I have no friends now and I’m finding it incredibly difficult. Day in day out I’m just looking after my toddler; I don’t get the chance to socialise with other adults. It’s the worst feeling in the world.